Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
