I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize