If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My vagina is officially offended.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
