How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
