Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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