she woke up with a sticky ear
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
