after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
