Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
