But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
