i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize