Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
