i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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