You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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