I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize