This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize