Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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