for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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