Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize