I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
