He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
