Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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