pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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