Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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