so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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