So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
