Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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