I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
