And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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