Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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