I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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