i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
