i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
