Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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