My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
