please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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