He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
