Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dicks are not precious.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
