you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This show inspires me to have sex in space
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
