problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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