its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
