We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
