i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
