if only i could text you this smell
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
