wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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