ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
is it fun? or sober?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize