if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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