so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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