What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
