We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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