I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
