I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
