This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize