I'm going to jail i love you
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
