Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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