dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
