woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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