Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize