2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
