No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i already hear my dad disowning me
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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