man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
